


The Salesman

by orphan_account



Series: Batman/Superman Office!AU [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Superman - All Media Types, Teen Titans - All Media Types
Genre: A Little Bit Of Crack, Comedy, F/F, F/M, Lots of side pairings, M/M, office!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 20:05:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6165103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An Office!AU that explores the lives of the employees of Kent-Wayne Industries.</p><p>Name: Jason Todd<br/>Age: 27<br/>Occupation: Sales Executive<br/>Likes: drinking on the job, flirting<br/>Dislikes: the HR department, Kori<br/>Number of Days Without a Work-Related Injury: 7<br/>Last Work-Related Injury: his ex-boyfriend (Dick) "accidentally" slammed his hand in Conference Room C's door</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Salesman

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this on my mind forever and it needs to happen. Everyone is going to be an asshole. Preparte for Parts 2, 3, 4, etc.
> 
> UPDATE: [My Tumblr](http://burningice2.tumblr.com/)

**I. The HR Mediation**

 

“Jason.” 

“Barbara.”

He had gotten the email earlier that morning from management who, oh, so politely informed him that he had a meeting with the head of the HR Department at ten sharp. The email was sent from Katherine Kane’s address, one of the most intimidating people in the company, which was most likely why management delegated that she be the one to send the email. He would have ignored the demand if Diana sent it, and then he really would have management tearing into his ass. Having his ex-boyfriend send it would have been a kick to the groin. He and Dick didn’t end well, and after a year their work relationship had just gotten civil.

That was months of shitty HR mediation.

Almost everything Jason did tended to piss off someone, so he couldn’t imagine what it was that could’ve gotten him sent back to Babs. It couldn’t have been anything that happened yesterday; it would’ve taken at least two days for that email to be sent, so calling Tim a bottom bitch couldn’t be the reason. Last week he sent his sales partner, Stephanie, an article called “Eight Reasons Why Your Vagina Is Emitting a Fishy Smell,” but complaining to HR was beneath her. There was also that incident a few days ago when he told one of the CEO’s sons to suck him until he was dry, after he beat him at pool during his lunch break. If that pissed Conner off, then he would be sitting in Clark’s office, not here.

“Jason, as you know, we here at Kent-Wayne Industries—"

“Can we skip the intro? Steph and I have to leave in a half hour to go meet a client.”

Barbara sighed and pushed her glasses up her nose as she read something on her computer screen. “I suppose. You’ve been here enough to have the script memorized.”

“Thank you.” His smile was all teeth.

“Jason, this is the second time this month that you’ve been sent here.” She was being patronizing with the way she kept saying his name, like he was a child that was being scolded for trying to sneak a cookie before dinner. “Ah.” Barbara motioned to someone behind Jason. He turned around in his seat and swore under his breath. “Thank you for joining us, Kori.”

Now he remembered. A few days ago he had been returning from the restroom and saw Kori talking to Damian, probably needed him to look over some forms or give some important papers to his father. She had been wearing a _very_ short skirt and when you bend over in something like that, your underwear will show. Not his fault he was caught in the crossfires

Kori took the seat next to Jason, but not before moving the chair farther away from him as if he had the flu. She gave him a sideways look—yes, she was _pissed_ —and then crossed her arms and legs, determined to ignore him for the rest of this mediation.

“I have to congratulate you, Jason,” Barbara said. “Thanks to you, I’ve become very popular among the Kent-Wayne employees. Practically everybody in this company has my number on speed dial.”

“I try.”

“Christ,” Barbara muttered. She gave Kori an apologetic look before saying, “So, let’s begin.”

 

 

 

 

 

**II. The Conference**

 

“What the hell is this?” Jason shoved his phone into Cass’s face. “You did not seriously send this to me.” Cass promptly took the phone out of his hand and dropped it in the cup of coffee on her desk. _“What the fuck?”_

“Don’t shove things in my face, and if you make a sexual innuendo with what I just said I will call Barbara, because my phone isn’t floating in coffee.”

“I swear to God, I’ll tell Bruce it was you who poured paint in his toilet.”

“I’m sure he’s narrowed it down to me by now. He should know that it had to be someone who was smart enough to figure out how to get past all that security. He hand selected us out of his program because he saw our potential. Well,” her frown deepened, “he saw most of our potential.”

“Hard to believe you’re still single,” he snapped.

"Not true." Fuck, he forgot about her and Steph.

“Anyway, why in the _fucking_ nine circles of hell would you recruit me to go speak at a PR Conference in Denver? That’s not even my department!”

Cass rolled her eyes as if the answer was obvious. “Because having anyone from the company attend a conference is like advertising for Kent-Wayne Industries. Who better to sell the company brand than someone from sales?”

Jason should have been flattered, but he saw right through Cass. “Why not ask Steph? You always tell me how much better she is.”

“Steph didn’t want to go.” Cass shrugged. “I’d rather acquiesce to my girlfriend’s requests than yours.” Jason growled. “Also, Bruce already approved you attending, so there’s no getting out of this.” She went back to typing an email. “Be sure to buy some snow shoes. It’s going to be cold.”

He knocked her cup of coffee into the trash before storming away from her desk. “You owe me a new phone, bitch!” he called over his shoulder.

 

 

 

 

**III. The College Kids**

 

“Hello, everybody. My name is Jason Todd and I am a sales executive for Kent-Wayne Industries.” Twenty pairs of eyes stared back at him. He wondered if they were bored or if there were actually kids in the group that aspired to be sales executives. “This is my sales partner, Stephanie Brown.”

Steph stepped forward. “Hello, all. What you can expect from today is to learn the duties of a sales executive followed by a brief meeting with Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent.” The students perked up at that list bit. “I’ll even point out all the people who have slammed Jason with sexual harassment lawsuits.”

“Ha ha. Just follow us and we’ll get you all signed in with our secretaries, Wally and Kori. If you want to feel welcomed I wouldn’t talk to Kori.”

Steph gave him a nudge. “Ignore him. The guy can’t handle rejection.”

After getting them signed in, he and Steph took them to the second floor conference room where they gave a presentation on sales and then took them on a tour throughout the building. Besides a kid getting locked in the faulty bathroom stall in the accounting bathroom, everything went smoothly. As planned, Bruce and Clark were waiting for them in Clark’s office at eleven.

In the middle of Bruce talking, Jason heard the door open quietly behind him. He turned around to find Damian beckoning to him to step outside the office. Bruce’s talk was boring him, so he decided to entertain the kid.

“Todd.”

“Demon.”

“You know what I want.”

“That I do.”

“Where is my fifty dollars?”

“Not with me.”

“Let me remind you of how you have come to owe me that amount,” Damian said impatiently. “Last Friday you got drunk during the two-o-clock lull off of the box wine you stole from Gross Daryl and bet me fifty dollars that you could drink two cups of vinegar without getting sick. After doing so you proceeded to throw up on Bart’s shoes.”

“Who’s Bart?”

“That is not of importance, Todd. I want my money,” he said, voice low and dangerous.

“As I recall, it is impossible for somebody to give consent when they are under the influence.”

“You mean when somebody wants to have sexual relations.”

“Exactly. You’re trying to rape my wallet, Damian. I did not give consent last Friday, and I’m not giving consent now.” He didn't know why this kid was so wound up about a measly fifty dollars with all the money his family had. There was no way in hell Jason was going to pay this brat.

“Todd, if I don’t get my fifty dollars I am going to gut you!”

“Ahem.” Jason and Damian turned toward the door where Bruce was standing with the college kids, Clark, and Steph behind him.

“So if we work here do we get to drink during the work day?” a boy in the back asked.

“You guys probably should have made sure the door was closed all the way,” Steph said with a malicious grin on her face.

“Stephanie, why don’t you escort the students back to the lobby,” Clark suggested.

Bruce was fuming. “Jason. Damian. In my office. _Now_.”

 

 

 

 

**IV. The New Girl**

 

“Hey, hey, hey.”

Anyone walking into work loved hearing that kind of greeting from Wally, because as Clark’s secretary he had access to all the workplace gossip. Kori, Bruce’s secretary, was forever pretending that Jason didn’t exist, so when he approached the polished white receptionist desk she did not join in on his and Wally’s huddle.

“There’s a new girl.”

Jason raised his eyebrows. “Really?”

Wally nodded enthusiastically. “She took the elevator to the ninth floor.”

“Finance. Whose hire?”

“Clark’s, and this isn’t the first time he’s asked her to work for the company.” Wally leaned in closer, close enough for Jason to be able to tell that he had eggs for breakfast. “She’s Conner’s ex-girlfriend.”

“No shit.” Things had just gotten interesting.

“Red dress, blonde hair. A knockout combo.”

“Wally,” Kori warned. “Don’t encourage him.” Jason stuck his tongue out on her. “By the way,” she said snidely, “I made sure to slip her HR’s number before she went up.”

“Of course you did,” Jason muttered.

When he got off the elevator he was greeted with a few stares, but nobody asked questions. Sales had been on their floor before, but it was rare for Jason to be on the ninth floor. As he searched for the blonde in the red dress, his gaze met that of Tim’s. Accounting and financing often interacted with each other even though the departments never got along.

“Jason.” Despite his best attempt to get away from Tim, the younger man was a fast walker. “Why are you on the ninth floor? There’s no reason for you to be here.”

“I’m looking for Daryl.”

“Nobody looks for Daryl. He’s gross.”

“I’ve heard the same being said about me, so it would make sense that I’d be looking for Daryl.”

Tim chortled. “As much as I agree with that statement, I’m pretty sure you’ve come here to look for the new girl.”

“Is that why you’re here? Have you seen her?”

“No and no. Jason,” he warned, “I’ve heard that this girl is very close to Clark and his son, so don’t do anything to piss her off—”

“Hello, Tim. Jason.”

The two immediately shut up after they were greeted by Clark, a cheery smile on his face as usual. After knowing both him and Bruce for so many years, it was still difficult to believe that people with such opposite personalities could be so in love. Behind his broad stature was…

The blonde in the red dress.

She was _hot._

“Mr. Kent,” Tim greeted.

“Tim, I’ve told you thousands of times before that you can call me Clark in the office.”

“Hey, Clark. Who’s this?”

Clark placed a hand on the girl’s back as she approached Jason and Tim. “This is Cassandra Sandsmark. Her parents are very close friends of mine, and I’m so happy to have her working for me.”

“Cassie is fine,” she told them.

Jason may have shoved past Tim to shake her hand. “Jason Todd. I look forward to working with you. If you want I can give you a tour of the eleventh floor. That’s where I work in sales.” He ignored Tim’s snort for the sake of appearances.

“Unfortunately a guy from marketing offered to give me a tour of the tenth floor, and I need to start work after.”

Jason frowned at being shot down. “Which guy?”

“Bart Allen.” Jason tried to rack his brain. He had heard the name before, but an image of the guy’s face was not coming to him. “I find it difficult to say no to my boyfriend.”

It was when Tim burst out laughing when Jason said a hasty goodbye to Clark before heading for the elevator. He flinched when he heard Cassie’s laugh join in. To make matters worse, he didn’t bother to see who was in the elevator when he entered, and it wasn’t until the doors closed that he noticed that the only people inside the elevator were him and Dick.

“Hey,” he offered weakly. Instead of answering, Dick’s hand clenched his briefcase tighter and focused his gaze on the elevator doors. “Did you meet the new girl?” Why did he have to suck at making conversation?

“No,” Dick replied in a very controlled manner, “but you obviously couldn’t resist.”

Dick still looked good. Hell, he always looked good. There wasn’t a time that Jason could remember where Dick didn’t look good. He still had perfect jaw line, slender neck, long legs, perky ass, and silky head of hair. Dick was _gorgeous._

“Heading to the fifteenth floor? Heard you were promoted to management last week. Congratulations.”

“This is your floor,” Dick said as soon as the elevator dinged.

Jason nodded. “It is.”

Dick still wasn’t looking at him. “So get off the elevator.”

“Right.”

Jason decided it would be a better idea to press all the buttons so Dick would be stuck with him for a little longer.

 

 

 

**V. The Sales Pitch**

 

“Mr. Todd, we look forward to doing more business with Kent-Wayne Industries.”

Jason reached across the table to shake the hand of the Erwin Tech Representative. “Thank you again, Mr. Mendes, for the opportunity. A representative of ours will be in touch within the week.”

That was his and Steph’s second deal of the week, and it was only Tuesday. He was in such a good mood that he treated Steph to lunch at the expensive bistro down the street. And his good mood may have been due to Dick dropping some memos on his desk without purposely spilling his coffee.

“I’m telling you, it was my dead wife joke that closed the deal,” Steph said after order her second whisky sour. She was taking advantage, but Jason decided to let it slide.

“No, it was definitely how hot you are. Looks sell.”

Steph smoothed down her violet pencil dress with a devilish smile. “I know.” She knew how to manipulate the office dogs. Her dress was tight, but not too revealing. The dress reached her knees and had capped sleeves, but the form fit showed the outline of her body. She had even curled her hair and swept it to the side so that one collarbone would be showing.

Steph was the devil.

“How’s Dick?”

Jason choked on his scotch. “Why do you ask?”

“Because after all this time, nothing puts a smile on your face like he does.” She was breaching dangerous territory, and she knew it. After the waiter brought her whiskey sour, she took a demure sip and watched his reaction carefully over the brim of her glass. “Are you guys talking?”

“We’ve always talked.” Communication had been limited to yelling, crying, and passive aggressive antics. Jason wished he could honestly say that only Dick did all of these.

“He mentioned you yesterday.”

Jason’s curiosity peaked at that. “What did he say?”

“He mentioned that we did a good job closing that deal we had earlier that morning.”

Jason smiled as a flood of memories came rushing back. Dick used to love when he closed deals. They would get back to their apartment and Dick would get down on his knees after shoving him against the front door, sing his praises as he sucked him off. Jason would pick him up, rarely get them farther than the couch, and take him there, sometimes from behind, other times Dick would ride him, usually rough and fast.

“You could never settle down, Jay. Not even the perfect guy could sell you.”

Jason drowned that truth with more scotch.

 

 

 

**VI. The Last Hour**

 

“Any chance that we’ll be leaving early, boss?” Kara looked at Dick with big pleading puppy eyes.

“Just one more hour,” Dick said. “You can push through.” The smile instantly fell from his face when he saw Jason sitting on her desk. “What are you doing in marketing?”

“I don’t know.” Jason took a bite of his apple. “Just chilling,” he said while chewing.

“Get back to work,” Dick said without much force. “We all have Friday night plans and you don’t see any of us slacking off.”

Usually Jason would let Dick cool off and slink back to his office on the fifteenth floor, but he was curious as to what Dick’s Friday night plans were. He mainly just wanted to know who those plans were with.

“Hey!” Jason called as he followed Dick to the elevator. He wasn’t surprised when Dick didn’t stop walking. “What hot plans do you have for tonight?” Jason, however, was surprised when Dick turned around to face him.

“I’m meeting someone for drinks.” Jason couldn’t tell by the look on his face if that was supposed to be good or not. He didn’t seem too excited.

“Anyone I know?”

Dick hesitated. “Daryl,” he finally said.

“But he’s gross. I didn’t know you guys were friends. Wait, are you going on a date?” Dick was an attractive guy, of course he would have a date on a Friday night. But after over a year of being broken up, Dick must really be digging at the bottom of the barrel if he was dating Daryl. Jason’s blood boiled at the amount of people Dick had met, to do who knows what with, to have to result to going on a date with Gross Daryl.

“Jason.” Uh oh. Dick looked pissed.

“What? I’m sorry that I think you can do better than Gross Daryl. I saw him clipping his toenails at his desk today. Who does that?”

“Jason, _you_  broke up with _me._ ”

Yeah, he didn’t need a reminder of the biggest regret of his life.

“I know that commitment phobes like you can move on like that, but…it’s difficult for me.” Jason forced himself to look into Dick’s watery eyes, because he was the cause of all the pain between them. It was his fault. And this was the first time in a very long time that they were discussing their relationship. “Your flirting with me, with others, the way that you try to keep me at a detached but close distance…Jay, you have to let me go.”

“Dicky—”

“No,” Dick croaked. “You don’t get to call me that anymore. Jason, I _proposed,_ and you broke my heart. You said no, so now I have to forget you.”

Jason noticed that the floor was a lot quieter than it was before, and he knew that people were peaking out of their cubicles to listen in on their conversation. The tenth floor knew that they used to be engaged and Dick was almost in tears. He could easily just walk away and pretend that this never happed, but he was already in this deep, and he couldn’t think of another time that he and Dick would be able to discuss this.

“Dick yo—you freaked me out,” he finally admitted after all this time. “Yes, I’m a commitment phobe, but did you know that my relationship with you was the longest monogamous relationship I had been in?” Dick shook his head. “Well…that’s because I loved—no _love—_ you. And you know I just flirt around at work so I don’t have to think about you.”

Dick took a shaky breath. “You still love me.”

“That’s what I said.”

“Then why won’t you marry me?”

“Dick, I’m just not ready.” Dick crossed his arms and looked at his feet. Somebody like Dick who had been engaged _twice_ saw that step in a relationship as black and white. If you loved somebody it meant that you should immediately want to marry that person, but Jason just didn’t see it that way. “And just because I’m not ready now doesn’t mean I won’t be later.” Dick looked up to meet his gaze. “Because if I was ever going to marry anybody it would always be you, Dicky.” Jason knew he was victorious when he saw a smile creep onto Dick’s face.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this a year ago?”

“Because you were angry and crying and I thought you never wanted to talk to me again.”

“I do recall throwing my wine glass at your head.”

“You have good aim.”

“Thanks.”

“Can you guys just kiss already?” Kara shouted from her cubicle. “I had to pause _The Bachelor_ for this, and it’s the season finale.”

“I really think we should comply,” Jason said.

“Only if I’m getting treated to dinner after,” Dick quipped.

“Who’s in management?”

“Oh, shut up,” Dick mumbled as he pulled Jason into a ravishing kiss.


End file.
